Sunday, August 15, 2010

Love Is Marching to His Heartbeat

                                         I feel that I am moving to the rhythm of Your Grace
                                           Your friendship is intoxicating in this secret place
After an awesome summer of going to Malawi, Africa, working cross camp, spending quality time with my sweet lil ole Mammaw before moving, and fellowshiping with awesome friends...That time is almost here again.Yep that's right, COLLEGE, Dun dun duh...
I start band camp this Monday. Last year I was more nervous because I didn't know anyone, now I'm nervous because I do know everyone, haha. This past year I've tried to build relationships and invest in my fellow music major peers and band members. I absolutely love everyone in this group and want to see them know the same God that has radically changed my life! Not know of Him, but truely, intimately know Him and Follow Him. I know this is where God wants me. Though I still have no clue what I'll do with degree, I know God calls me to serve here and now. Not just leading worship in a band but also in every single music group I am in. I'm sick of playing games. I'm sick of being timid and quiet. My eyes are opened and I can love louder. May my life scream Jesus. There's no time to waste. I'm excited to kick off this year. I want to be all there and not miss it. I'm about to enter into a battle field. I want be found faithful. Here's to Sophmore year!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Heartache

So much has been on my mind. My heart has hurt a lot and I miss the people I met in Malawi, AFRICA. I knew after going I'd most likely be burdened. I knew my heart was already broken for this place even before Going. Little did I know that when you seriously cry out "BREAK my heart for what Breaks Yours, everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause!" God would do just that.

"Love until it huts, then love more." -Momma T

Sometimes I wish I could just love until it hurts. It's when I began to Love more that I constantly think of these beautiful people. My brain explodes to comprehend how different they live from us, how much joy they have. Malawi is the "Warm Heart of Africa". Not even their title gives this place proper justice.
The majority of these adorable little kiddos had no shoes much less any clothing. One day we played soccer with the boys of Kumilindi village. They all took their shirts off and my heart was shattered in seeing the countless maknourished bellies.

Why? I can come up with many reasons why but each time I still find myself having to ask why? This makes me sooo heartbroken beyond expression. This isn't just in Malawi either. It's simply just a plane ride away.

The second day in Malawi I was speaking at a house with a large amount of people.
I was able to share my full testimony. A lady then turned to me and said "The same God you say delivered and healed you, can He heal me from malaria?" My heart stopped beating I'm pretty sure. Of course He can Heal. I was able to pray over her, trusting that God would heal her. I'm happy to say that this woman is still alive today! All glory be to God, Healing is in His Hands!

Another house was owned by an old and sick grandmother. Her daughter and her two children lived there as well. At first they said they had too much to do and didn't have time to sit and listen. But then we noticed the grandmother's hands we blistering from shelling a huge basket of maze (dried corn). So we asked if we did that for her would she listen. They let us sit with them a while and share bible stories along with the Gospel. Then I noticed Yulita, a19year old sitting right beside me who had malaria. She began to get really sick while I was speaking and coughed up a storm. She's my age and may not live to see 20. Too hard of something to share? This is the ugly truth of reality. These are the things that have flipped my world upside down and crushed my heart. Her brother Dishon was was very sick as well.You could see the hurt in his eyes and hear his stomach growling so loudly. I got to pray with them and encourage them with scripture. I was able to have Merify translate a short letter to them. I think about them constantly. I wish I had more time to be with them and share more of Jesus and How He Loves Us.



One day Merify and I were walking in a village.We saw a group of people and became excited to speak with them about Jesus. We continued to walk then Merify suddenly stopped and said "We need to look for the mother." Turned out it was a funeral and most funerals there have the group of people outside the house while the mother or whoever the closest loved one is in the back to mourning. So we went to the back to minister to the mother. This mother's 2 year old daughter had just passed away from aids, we found her crying and hugging her daughter who was still in her lap. The very first thing the mother said was"I am not surprised my child died from Aids. I knew she had it. I just always thought I'd be first to leave...." There are no words. I cannot get this moment off my mind. So then and there we shared Jesus Christ with her told her there was hope that can be found in Him. How He can Heal our hearts and renew us daily. The hardest thing I've ever had to say to someone that was in such a sad position...

                                                    Take my Heart and make it clean
                                                  Open up my eyes to the things unseen
                                           Show me how to love like You have loved me
They need prayer. They need Love. They need Jesus. They need bibles. They need discipleship. They need godly examples. They need food. They need water. They need shoes. 
They have Joy.

I cannot live my life as if the other world does not exist.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Serving Out of Abundance

God showed me so much while I was in Africa. Not only does God call us as sons and daughters to spread the gospel among the Nations, but also our community. Even if that means we find ourselves house to house at some point...where there's a sacrifice there's a gain. There's always the typical rant of "Why are you going somewhere so far away when there are people here in America who need Jesus too..." Mmmm....I'll be honest this always gets me going. Yes, most definitely there are those in America who need to hear that Jesus loves them. I was one of them.

Let's just look at it like this: In American there are millions of bibles printed, sold, and owned.
Heck you could personally choose your own color, graphic design, and even be picky about which size to get. In practically every other country there are less than half the amount of bibles accessible, if there are any to be found at all. You could say that this is because America is such a blessed country, but, in Psalms 103:2 it says "Bless the Lord." Hmmm...How are we to bless the Lord if we keep everything to ourselves? I'm just sayin'. "No one is righteous, no not one."-Romans 3:10. Therefore, EVERYONE needs Jesus. What use does a bible have if it just stays on a shelf collecting dust? There is a day coming where persecution will hit America. It will come subtly and first then rapidly unfold. It's time start writing scripture on our hearts so that if we were ever to have our bible taken away, we can still follow the example Jesus set when tempted, He ministered to himself with the word from memory. Why aren't bibles given to those who'll actually open it and study it? Cause let's face it, we don't do that near enough. The translators I worked with while in Africa really challenged me to become more of a doer of the word as it is written in James 1. These relentless followers shared the gospel everywhere they went, all throughout their own country and community. With no hesitation, without excuses, without limits, and with no complaining...they shared God's Love in such beautiful ways. It reminded me how God calls me right where I am to do the same if not more. It reminded me of what I'm called to do in Monroe, LA as a college student and musician and above all, a daughter of the King. I'm to not only serve but share.

Think about how many shoes we own...how much freakin food there is, not just consumed but wasted...Half of the things we own were not even made here. They were made by some of the most hard working people in the world, those who receive .09 cents a hour if even that much. Food is certainly one thing you don't see near enough of, if any, in other countries. Food, clothing, shelter, clean water, shoes...the list goes on of basic needs that are lacked. Yet, we have far more than enough to last an entire lifetime. Meanwhile, others lose their lives each day with out it. Wow.

If you think I'm crazy than that's cool, I am. People thought Jesus was crazy too. If you don't believe me read the stuff He said. Take a look at passages like Luke 9:23-27.
It's hard to see the acts of in-justice while several others are still so blinded by arrogance and selfish desires. Forsake comfort and the Kingdom is yours- Matthew 5 in a nutshell.

So let's get off our lazy bums and do something for others through Christ that strengthens us.
Read Genesis and meditate. It's not just some random book or simple stories we hear or teach in sunday schools, it's how we came to existence and shows us the depth of sin. Mercy and grace flows through every page. Conviction cuts like a knife when you're comfortable but just think of what God can do when walls are torn down? Ask God to tear down the walls that keep you from being completely surrenedered and sold out. He created us For Him, to serve Him, and to feed His sheep (John 21:17). There's No time to waste. The Time is NOW. We are extremely blessed to have a God that's slow to anger and patient.

                        This is my prayer in the Harvest when favor and providence flow
                                                I know I'm filled to be emptied again
                                                  The seed I've received I will sow


May we become more comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Beautiful Anas

These are some of the children"Anas" I fell in love with in Malawi:

This was the first kid I saw went entering the Warm Heart of Africa, the little girl in the black dress. She immediately stopped what she was doing when she saw us and starting running after our van.

Everytime I'd see her throughout the village, she'd second guess how she felt so she'd hide. Almost every picture I have from this village, she is hiding in the background...that little creeper, lol.
I finally was able to hang out with her some long enough to take a picture for all the world to see. She at first refused to smile...
I eventually got her to crack up ;) 
My "wokongola chemwali"- beautiful sister. Missing my fun little singing and dancing friend

This is Grace and she is oh so Beautiful.
Dat baby do <3 nbsp="" p="">
=)
they were soooo much fun!
Baby Cedrick was a hoot!
Meet Miracle, the cutest and sassiest baby in Africa.
Little Rascals...
These boys cracked me up at the markets!
Model status...
Such a brave older sister, always taking the best care of her younger siblings
Chichewa: Wokongola
 English: Beautiful
They were singing and dancing for us, lol.
My bible study friend =) 
We strong yo!
A beast soccer player right here
No place I'd rather be...
Church time, this girl had the prettiest dress of all
My friend Lian and I laying down some sweet beats!
She would not let any of the other kids play the drum because she insisted on holding it for me, lol. SASSY PANTS!
This is Gome and he taught me everything I know about African drumming, no lie.
Game time!
this little boy was something else
chillin in the village
my boyfriend Lyod
Baby Earrings! <3 nbsp="" p="">
Meet my little man Lexon, 
 He stole my heart forever <3 nbsp="" p="">