Brain Explosion

Since I've returned I've had all the feels.
Comfort is a dangerous thing to mess with when other's lives are suffering. Comfort is why many have never heard of Jesus Christ. Comfort is why many kids are ignored and mistreated and left alone. Comfort is sometimes why others go without food and water just a few plane flights away. Comfort is what encourages an apathetic heart and lethargic body in a recliner over no showers, wearing the same clothes over, and sleeping in a hut.

"God does not care about your own personal comfort and will sometimes allow persecution in order that His will may be done."

I cannot get this statement out of my mind. We have no idea what persecution is. But I pray someday I may be blessed enough to see what it truly is. I pray one day I can share in the suffering of Christ. I pray one day America may have persecution...So the church may finally begin to disperse and go out instead of stay in a building forever.

After seeing people worshiping idols larger than my room I began to become so broken.
Broken over the fact that they've never heard of someone who is Greater and far more worthy of praise, offerings, and sacrifice.

Many would probably see worshiping statues in other places as crazy and foolish and weird. But America has idols as well. They just don't have fancy temples, paintings, and incense burnt.

Instead, it's face paint, big screen t.v.'s, and huge stadiums.

American idols are sometimes on paper such as lottery tickets. The more money spent and possessions sacrificed, the more potential blessings and success..right? America's idols are on the billboards and news feeds. They're in the magazines and morning paper. The same God that told people in the old testament to stop bowing down to idols is the same God you pray to in the churches today. His commandment still holds true. He deserves far more than simply what makes us happy, succeed, and look good.....what makes us comfortable...

That is something I find heartbreaking. The fact that comfort has crippled the place I live in.
Despite the fact that the gospel is at the tips of our fingers, we can freely worship God as we please, there are enough bibles for everyone to own at least 2, and we have far more than anything we could ever possibly need.

I want to make Jesus known among the Nations. Though I long to be in other parts of the world at this time I know it's for me to shine a light here and now. As a 19 year old single college student who for some reason God has chosen to use in Monroe, LA. So though my heart craves for what's to come,  it is also comforted in knowing there's work to still be done in my own community. May God be glorified and recieve what He deserves. To the ends of the earth may His name be shouted on the mountain tops.

I am SECOND.

Spiritual Warfare

I never quite understood what spiritual warfare was and looked like until I went to serve in SOuthEast Asia this year. In training I heard I would soon encounter it. That you could immediately feel the tension in the air and it would be so thick you could cut it with a knife...That as soon I would get out of the plane I would know there was a war going on. A war between what is Righteous and what is wicked. A war between pureness and unclean lips. A war between the spirit and the flesh. A war between what I believe in so dearly and what the world believes. I know God is real. I'd be foolish to deny the power, provision, strength, protection, wisdom, and sovereignty of God after I've seen countless ways of how He works. I now know that satan is very real also. He's drinking lots of coffee, staying awake to ace his tests. He studies your every move and plans every way possible to try and stop God from working through you. He's not worried about those who have not accepted Christ...they're already wrapped around his fingers. Those who believe in Jesus and radically follow Him are his target. As if he suddenly forgets that he has are been defeated and the true battle was already won on the cross...

So after being informed that I would encounter spiritual warfare in the near future I began to pray more intentionally for strength to fight against it. Throughout this past month my team and I have seen God do some pretty insanely awesome things. Both in us and through us as well as other believers. We have also seen Satan at work. We've seen him stirring up our wants, tricking us into thinking that a lot of our wants were needs. He tried to cause simple frustrations to erupt into volcanoes. He was trying everything possible to have doubt, fear, and selfishness creep into our hearts. Satan knows your weakness and knows how to make you at your most vulnerable state of mind. He knows how to make you insecure and timid. That's why it is so important to renew the mind daily especially when traveling to foreign lands out of typical comfort zones.

"For God has not given us the spirit of Timidity, but of power Love,and self-discipline. So Never be afraid to tell others about the Lord." -2 Timothy 1:7

What a blessing it is that The Most High God, Shang Di, is Above All and created all.

"We are indestructable until God says so."

How many times are you doing work in the harvest and when it starts to rain, you go back inside where it's dry...? How many times do you run in the fire then peace out when it begins to get  really hot...? How many times do you go and go and go but one negative opinion causes you to completely shut down...? How many times is it dark outside and you don't even realize you have a flashlight in your backpack...? How many times do you see God working but as soon as you are uncomfortable you want to go home...?

I'm not saying these things out of condemnation, but out of love. Most of the time that's the way Satan works. Things go good, heck things go great! Then all of a sudden tension builds, the waters rise, and Satan starts the battle within a fortress of the mind that he loves to dwell in.

During the greatest of opportunities to share Christ with others...Satan is running a marathon. What a blessing it is to have discernment, to know and realize when Satan is at work. Praise God for the understanding that it's not simply ironic when you feel like quitting and giving up. Satan wants culture shock to get the best of you. It's one of the greatest mind games ever. It says in the word that even your heart can be deceitful. This means we must place our trust, hope, and complete faith in Christ because on our own we are weak.

Spiritual Warfare is real. It's everywhere and it's a constant battle. It's important to seek God's guidance in fighting against fleshly desires. REST is essential and the armor has to be put on daily as well as time spent in the war room/secret place.

Don't buy into the lies. Don't allow yourself to stop serving the Lord. Don't back out when you feel led and called to Go. Never turn down an opportunity to share the gospel with others.

Adventure Awaits

So after taking seven finals last week and having seven days until leaving I've been thinking a lot about school, careers, my future, past, relationships, money, and what it means to follow Christ sincerely. To follow Christ sincerely is to put Him first above all else. I must put Him above school, re-taking classes, student loans, homework, practicing, socializing, working, money...Above everything that gets in the way. It wasn't until I gave God everything that He became my everything.

Jesus lived a life of sacrifice. Therefore, the life of a Christian can't go without a sacrifice of some sort. In order to ensure you make a good grade on a test at times you must sacrifice something, right?Sleep, social interaction, your favorite t.v.show... Why do we sometimes act like Jesus doesn't call us to make a sacrifice? Instead we act as if we've been called to the exact opposite. We act as if we've been called to comfort, apathy, and selfishness. But the more I read the word the more I see scripture after scripture of how Jesus was beat, bloodied up, mocked, abused, denied, tempted, ridiculed, and crucified. I can't help but think of 1 Peter 4:12. Satan will tempt you, attack you, and he's constantly out to destroy you. But God is not Satan and He loves you like crazy. So why not Go and serve Him by serving others? Why not sacrifice a summer, winter, semester, year, money, shifts at work, people's opinions of you, and holidays? It's because of God that blessings exist in the first place. "Praise God to Who ALL Blessings flow." Every good and perfect gift comes from God. I deserve Hell and nothing more. But He has offered mercy and amazing grace! I'm leaving out of the country again in two days and I literally cannot contain my excitement!

THANK YOU to all who've given so generously and willingly. I praise Jesus for each of you whether acquaintance, dear friend, or complete stranger. Thank you for your prayers, support, encouragement and affirmation. I pray God will bless you mightily and know that He is already using you by sending me to share the love of Christ to others around the world who'd most likely never hear of Christ otherwise. Unless someone goes out to their community, city, town, village, hut...cardboard box...how will they hear? I am completely blown away by the provision of God especially financially. God is a God of provision and protection, forever and always. I'm so ready for the adventure the Lord and I are about to embark on! To the ends of the Earth!

"God bring me closer to You on this trip whatever it takes!"

Sleepless in Monroe

Once again I find myself unable to sleep.
Such a strong burden for this lost and dying world...
There are so many things I just don't understand.
Why? Why? Why?

Why do people have no shoes?

Why do we have a more than enough shoes?

Why are kids sleeping on the streets?

Why are kids abandoned?

Why are women degraded?

Why is money such an idol?

Why are people starving?

Why are people dieng from curable diseases?

Why am I the one blessed to live in America?

Why is there no persecution in the United States?

Why do people stay silent on what needs to be voiced?

Why is talk of freedom so hush-hush?

Why have people never heard of Christ?

Why are fellowships more popular than sharing the freakin gospel?

Why is offense glorified more than the lamb who was silent to the slaughter?

Why are the words out of mouths destroying relationships instead of encouraging others?
                                                                                                                   -Ephesians 4:29

I often find myself asking so many questions that seem to remain unanswered. "If only I could find solutions for these issues, maybe this unsettledness would go away..." The truth is, I don't have to have all the answers. I could sit around all day and think of logical ways to make a difference. But that's the thing, God doesn't fit in a box of logic. He is Holy and just. The  enemy likes to make you feel insignificant to the Kingdom. He can use rocks to praise Him, how much more could He use His beloved workmanships? He is Bigger and He will be glorified.

I care for those who are hurting far more than comfort. I'm starting to hurt with them instead of simply for them. My brain wants to explode when I think of the beautiful people I have encountered and shared life with and those I will soon encounter that are suffering so much while I have everything I could ever possibly need. I long to see the world radically changed for His Kingdom. I want to show hope, love, joy, peace, and true faith to others. Not because I'm a big deal but because Jesus is the Big Deal. I want to make His praise glorious to the ends of the earth and see the healing power that's in the name of Jesus break every chain. I dream of people of all nations crying out "Abba, Father." -experiencing His Love and never being the same again.

So as I sit here all worked up, burdened, frustrated, heartbroken, and full of passion...I become more confident in the mission at hand. Where the enemy wants the consumption of feeling overwhelmed to try and reach the masses, Jesus reminds us that He's for the one. Where we feel defeated, the finished work of the cross testifies to the battle that's already been won. I'm still going to praise Him and declare His promises in the midst of burdens, casting it all to the One who carries them.  

"Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." -Psalm 55:22

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28

 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." -Romans 8:26-27

God Is BIGGER

God is BIGGER than learning disabilities.
God is BIGGER than divorce.
God is BIGGER than drug addictions.
God is Bigger than the destruction of alcohol.
God is Bigger than 20 hours of school in one semester.
God is Bigger than abuse.
God is Bigger than the process of recovery from abuse.
God is Bigger than depression.
God is Bigger than eating disorders.
God is Bigger than Cancer.
God is Bigger than Malaria and Aids.
God is Bigger than life and death.
God is Bigger than student loans.
God is Bigger than money.
God is Bigger than my understanding of how big God is.
God is Bigger than $3,000 being raised in less than a month for a mission trip.
God is Bigger than persecution.
God is Bigger than temptations.
God is Bigger than relationships.
God is Bigger than those who you look up to.
God is Bigger than those whov'e let you down.
God is BIGGER than a hectic schedule.
God is Bigger than social life.
God is Bigger than apathy.
God is Bigger than injustice.
God is BIGGER than college, pass or fail.
God is Bigger than grad school.
God is Bigger than you and me.
God is Bigger than dreams.
GOD IS BIGGER.

Sometimes, okay scratch that, most of the time I tend to forget that God is BIGGER than the events I hold so vitally important and major in my life. It's good to know God is even Bigger than that. Sometimes you just have to have faith in the fact that God is Bigger. He can be way over my head at times but then so close as to uphold me with His victorious right hand! -Isaiah 41:10.  It blows my mind and at the same time comforts my heart to know God is bigger than what I stress and worry about, even the things I try to beat myself up for. God is Bigger and promises to take care of His children. So take heart, dear friends, situations and circumstances may seem Big, but He is Bigger! Allow Him to take control. He is more than capable of taking care of us. Cling to Christ tighter than your degree plans and transcripts. Christ deserves our Everything. Not 23%, 55%, or even 99% of us. He wants it ALL. He paid it ALL. He is BIGGER.

Abba, I Belong to You

He Heals the Broken hearted
and binds their wounds

He is Love

He finds those forgotten

those who've been abused

He is Love

He knows your name

A Father to the Fatherless

A Healer of the Brokeness

You make Beauty from the ashes

A Helper to the helpless

A fighter for the hopeless

You Love those who are alone

He comforts the lonely

and hears their cry

He is Love

He holds the children throughout the night

He is Love

He knows your name

Give us Your heart Lord

Help us Love the unseen

Give us Your eyes Lord

Help us Love those in need

My God Heals. He Protects. He Provides. He Delivers. He Comforts. He Helps. He Always LOVES. He fights for us, not against us (Exodus 14:14)! He is jealous for us! He promises to take care of His sheep! How can we ever sit still in a worship service and not praise God for all He has done, is doing, and will do? Without Christ there is No hope. He is the reason I live. He is the reason I'm still alive. He is my Everything. I can't help but share this love to others. I would be extremely selfish and arrogant if I just kept it all to myself. I have the Best Dad in the world! A Dad that is proud of me. A Dad that holds me. A Dad that heals me. A Dad that changes me. A Dad who strengthens me. A Dad who encourages me. A Dad who moves me. A Dad who uses me. I am in awe.

What manner of love

    that You would call us sons and daughters

                                                               We cry Abba, Father
                                                          

DEEPER

I've been wading in shallow waters
You're the Ocean I am after
I wanna Go
I wanna Go with You
Break the silence with Your whisper
Take my hand and pull me under
Cause I wanna Go with You
So take me DEEPER to where You are that I may find You
Take me further than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Set a way for what my eyes see
Help me believe
Help me break free
Cause I wanna Go with You
Take me through the Desert places for the chance to see Your face
 Take me past the breaking waves into the depth of Your embrace

School has begun. Dun dun duh....! I want to succeed as a musician in the music program and be a better student in school. However, I aslo want to have a social life and serve Christ to the fullest. I realize I must find the balance all while putting god first above all things.
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"Be humble,thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only of your own affairs but be interested in others too, what they're doing. Your attitude should be the same as Christ."
                                                                                                                                -Philippians 2:3-5

When I'm stressed out and about to go insane I will cling to Christ and have His attitude instead of my own so that I can LOVE LOUDER. I've been praying that God will use me this semester more than ever. So far God has already been working in some awesome ways! I got to share scripture and parts of the gospel in front of my entire class this morning! To God be the glory!

Love God. Love People. Live it Out.