Christmas Time is Here.

I've never been the sharpest tool in the shed much less one to understand a lot of the things life wants to throw at me. My mind is blown when trying to comprehend how Jesus came to this earth as an infant and was white as snow, He was perfect in every way. Not only that but He was placed in a manger, not some fancy decked out crib from Baby Depot. This is the same Jesus that had no place to lay His head (Luke 9:58). This is the same Jesus that was beaten and bruised and mistreated throughout His entire life. The same Jesus that would hang out with the lowest of the low and showed compassion to everyone He encountered. The same Jesus that died for me. It's difficult for me to understand such a crazy concept still to this day. That's because God will never fit in our little box of logic. He is Holy and so much Bigger. One thing I do know is that Jesus is the greatest thing that has ever entered into my life.

It's easy to say you won't get carried away this year during the Christmas season. That you won't buy as many gifts, wake up dreadfully early to get a big sale the day after Thanksgiving, worry if the tree isn't set up the way you like it, or let the idea of gifts consume you. But, do we truly choose not to cling to such things? I can tell you first hand that Christmas is certainly not all about getting gifts and spending lots of money and you fill in the blank_. Though all of that is good, fun, and lovely...if you didn't receive a single gift or have the finances to buy everyone and their mommas a present; would that ruin your day all together? Don't get me wrong that'd suck a whole lot and it's not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of having a "Holly Jolly Christmas," but never the less life will still go on. What if there were no presents under the tree? What if there was no tree at all? No "Holiday greetings and happy meetings"...? It might seem as if the world will come to an end at this point but it won't. I used to think so but time and time again I'm reminded that's not the case.

As I've sat here at my house alone for the majority of this Christmas day, I can't help but think a lot about a lot of things. I randomly decided to google the definition of "family."
Of course, most of the definitions define family as "a group of people who are related by blood."
However, there were a few definitions that said something different such as "a group of people who support each other and love one another." and so on.

"In today’s society most people consider family to be just blood relations but in reality it is the bonds you share with those you care for the most.  Family is a completely necessary part of anyone’s life.  Your family helps you through the tough times and provides the needed support to get through life.  Family cares about what happens to you, are always there for you, and above all, loves you. "

Mmmm....Can I get an Amen?!? This brought so much comfort to my heart. If it were strictly that of blood relations, I don't have much of a family at all the way I look at it. But if it's true that family is far more than that...well I have the largest family there is. 
Then I begin to think of what the phrase "blood related" means to me. 
Through the blood of Christ I belong to a family of believers all across the world. 
Many I've already had the blessing of meeting and many I will meet one day. 
I often say that "Music is within my blood." If so, I know of many who can relate that are considered to be family as well.

I would be foolish to ever say I don't have a family, because I most certainly do. 
What I consider to be family may not be your common definition found in wikipedia, but I care the most about a lot of folks and I come to find that a lot of folks care about me. 
I may not join family during the holidays but I know they are there for me. When I need support I can find it. When I need encouragement and affirmation, it can be a text away. Though certain situations can make me feel unloved, I know deep down I am loved and God is to be glorified rather than circumstances.  Above all it is Christ Who strengthens me. To have a loving Family on top of that, what better gift could you possibly ask for during Christmas time? 

Though things never seem to go as planned and though being alone while everyone else is celebrating can be a bummer...I am thankful for this special day the Lord has made. 
I'm thankful for time to sit still, relax, and REST. True Rest in the Lord is like no other. I'm thankful for time to reflect and take Joy in the God of my salvation. I'm thankful for those who sacrifice their traditional family settings to include a kid who has no place to go. I'm thankful for turkey and some burnt pecan pie. I'm thankful for coffee and a delectable Christmas tree cake. I'm thankful for those serving all across the country right now as I type. I'm thankful for the amazing time spent in Asia this time last year. Oh how I miss it so and wish I were there again at this very moment. I'm thankful for my Mammaw and another year I could spend with her cute lil ole self. I'm thankful for Everything God has chosen to bestow and bless me with. I am thankful for what the word "family" looks like in my life.

It all goes back to Christ in the end. The birth, crucifixion  and resurrection of Jesus will forever be the greatest gift there ever was, is, and will be. Because He came to die for the sins of man, Jesus is the Reason for the Season. Jesus is the reason I'm still alive today and can live life abundantly. It's my responsibility to be reminded of that. Though it may not seem to be "traditional" or provide that "home sweet home" kind of feeling, this day is to be cherished and that is something I am certain of. While I was in Asia, my teammates and I were told that we would never look at Christmas the same way again once we return to the states. I don't think I've ever found a statement to be so true before. I've discovered that I am my happiest when I am able to serve others. After serving in other countries to the fullest, especially during Christmas, it's easy to return home and feel as if I'm never truly serving others unless I'm on a trip far away. But after staying in town this December I see more and more how God calls me to go and serve everywhere. Even in Monroe, LA of all places. So though it's not a hard task to loose site of the true meaning of Christmas, I think I'm finally beginning to see what it's all about. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Here's to Many More.

One Thing Remains

 
There are so many things I struggle with finding clarity over. Then I discover how my constant worries are but dust when compared to what the word tells me. The things of this world will NOT last forever. Neither will circumstances whether good or bad. One thing remains and that's the Lord.

He offers a beautiful word called GRACE. Grace in which I do not have to perform work after work just to have the hope of receiving eternal life in heaven. God has forgiven my sins. He constantly forgives me for the ways I fall short. Through Jesus Christ, there is a way to be one with God again. I, a human, can never change fully on my own strength. I am a sinner to the core, rotten since birth. I was born a sinner, I once was enslaved to sin, and because of that sin I was destined for a place called Hell. "For the punishment for sin is Death." So after crying out for forgiveness and admitting I do not have it all together...  I decided then and there to Follow Christ, to take up my cross and deny myself. I decided to live my life fully devoted to Him. This is how I know that I know that I know I will one day see my God face to face and rejoice with other brothers and sisters in a heavenly dwelling. Oh what a Glorious day that shall be! For I have the "Lamb over Me."

Without Christ, I am nothing. Christ + nothing= EVERYTHING. If it wasn't for Christ I would not be alive today, for that I am certain. I am also certain that Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one else. No statue, great emperor, earthly king, ritual, practice, president, famous football player, celebrity, warrior, magician, god, or idol is above Christ. Only through Christ can you receive salvation. I am certain that Jesus came to die for me. Though it still blows my mind as to why, I know He did. He didn't just die so I could have life, but He died for me to Live life. A life that is dedicated to the One who created it. A life that glorifies and edifies the Kingdom. A life that reflects Christ.
I know for certain that there is great power in the gospel. I know that the same God that healed the sick, made the lame walk, and the blind see is the same God we pray to today. He is more than capable of doing the same acts if not above and beyond. It's just a matter of Faith and Trust in Him.

I know that a life in Christ gives me hope, strength, energy, zeal, love, passion, and so sooo much Joy.
I know that God wants to use me despite how I feel. He plans to use the life of someone who didn't care for life. God makes Beauty from the ashes. He is a Father to the Fatherless. He is LOVE.

Suddenly the uncertainties of this world grow strangely dim...
There is no longer a huge concern on how much my future income will be, what my career will entitle, or even where I will live one day. It is so easy to cling to the past. It is even easier to cling to the future. What I struggle with is the here and now. Serving Him in the small things is a challenge. Being content with where I am at such a time as this will be a process. To be confident in what God has for me to do in my community will take some molding of the clay. Being able to see what serving looks like in local organizations, on campus, and through the church will call for vision. I find it sad that sometimes there is so much focus on what is to come that the present is ignored away and missed. What is current is being written on a dry erase board only to be erased, leaving the heart dry and lifeless. I don't want to miss it. I want to be all there. I want to be all here. I want to see Jesus use me. I want to see Jesus use others. I want to see others see who Jesus is and follow Him. Who says that is only for the future? Who says that can't happen now?

                                                      Hungering and Thirsting for more.

"All Consuming Fire, You're Our Hearts Desire. Living flame of Love, Come baptize us! Come baptize us!"

Kleptos

There are a lot of things that easily capture my heart and make it melt. Kids are definitely one of those things. I never pictured myself to fall in love with kids as much as I have. I never expected to become burdened beyond words for the orphaned, abandoned, abused, and oppressed. I just want to go back in time and prevent so much pain, suffering, and heartache from happening to such precious children. I can't help but become restless...

So many kids without homes. So many kids begging. So many kids with only one outfit. So many kids with no shoes. So many kids without parents. So many kids without anyone who has cared for them. So many kids alone. So many kids afraid. So many kids left for dead. So many kids aborted.
So many kids who've survived abortion but are now disabled for life. So many kids...so many faces...so many who need Love. So many who don't even know what Love really is. Though in the flesh I just wish I could simply punch all those who've hurt them in the face...with the attitude of Christ I know I must love the abusers as well. That's where things get hard. It comes to a point that I no longer even think nor care about what has happened to me. How I've been hurt, mistreated, and abused...but what others must endure. The funny thing is,  I've specifically prayed for God to break my heart for the afflicted and oppressed. I can never say God does not answer prayers. I can't find it in me to just sit back and watch such injustice to go on. Though I have no clue how to make a difference I'm trusting God knows. I just want to be found obedient to what He is calling me to do and how He is calling me to play a role within the work of the Kingdom.

Meet my sweet little friend. I met her exactly two weeks ago at a street kids home. She is 12...in a five year old's body basically. Her smile is contagious. Her laugh is to die for. Her eyes draw you near and her hands can paint a beautiful masterpiece.

She was most likely born disabled and considered worthless. She was told she could not be cared for. and was thrown out on the streets. Found by some amazing people who took her to the street home,  she can come and go as she pleases. Words can't describe the kind of joy I found in seeing her smile, making her laugh, and playing games with her. My heart exploded when she started hitting my drum and we began playing back and forth. We just enjoyed life together. It was as simple and blissful as ever. We immediately became besties =)

She was handicapped and had trouble walking so she'd stand watching all of us playing with the other kids and running around. The littlest things would cause her to become so happy and joyful. She was the oldest in the group and practically took care of all the others. One minute she'd be playing then as soon as one of the boys ran up and messed with her she'd set them straight, haha! It was very entertaining even though it was all in Chinese and I could barely understand a word. =)

 

 One of the most precious little girls I've ever met. It may seem crazy for me to have fallen in love with a kid I only spent a day with...but that little klepto stole about my heart that day. If I could have adopted her that day and was not still in college I would have in a heartbeat. A day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about this sweet girl and prayed that God would take care of her, bless her, and show her more of what it's like to be Loved unconditionally. I see so much potential in her. Her heart is unique. Her actions are rare to find for her age. She will always hold a special place in my heart.

Then there's MenYaun. (Pretty sure that's spelled totally wrong but it's whatever.)

He was certainly a little adventurer. He decided to run away soon after meeting him. My heart broke for him. I pray God will have His hand on MenYaun's life. What joy it'd bring me to picture these kids growing up and knowing the Lord personally.

Then there's the girl who I can't seem to forget. God has placed this kid on my heart like crazy. I don't know her name. I don't know what she's been through. I don't know the ways she's been hurt. But it was so clear she has had pain from being mistreated.

There are no words...the few I have can't do how I feel any justice. I don't think I've ever felt such a burden for people/children...until I saw this girl. There is where loving the orphaned became difficult. She screamed and ran away anytime you'd come near her. It was said that she possessed. May the Most High God, Shang Di, reveal Himself to these children. My heart's desire is that they will know God and experience the Father's love. I'm currently praying for clarity in what I'm to do. My heart has been stolen by a lot of little kleptos for the past few weeks.
I am forever changed and humbled by this adventure.

Being half way around the pushing through cold weather, eating with chopsticks, playing games and songs, loving on kids who've been ignored, and sharing life/Jesus with others is what made this year the Best Christmas and New Years EVER. God is so Good.

"Stoop down and reached those who are oppressed.Share their burdens and complete Christ's law."
                                                                                                                                     -Galatians 6:2

Brain Explosion

Since I've returned I've had all the feels.
Comfort is a dangerous thing to mess with when other's lives are suffering. Comfort is why many have never heard of Jesus Christ. Comfort is why many kids are ignored and mistreated and left alone. Comfort is sometimes why others go without food and water just a few plane flights away. Comfort is what encourages an apathetic heart and lethargic body in a recliner over no showers, wearing the same clothes over, and sleeping in a hut.

"God does not care about your own personal comfort and will sometimes allow persecution in order that His will may be done."

I cannot get this statement out of my mind. We have no idea what persecution is. But I pray someday I may be blessed enough to see what it truly is. I pray one day I can share in the suffering of Christ. I pray one day America may have persecution...So the church may finally begin to disperse and go out instead of stay in a building forever.

After seeing people worshiping idols larger than my room I began to become so broken.
Broken over the fact that they've never heard of someone who is Greater and far more worthy of praise, offerings, and sacrifice.

Many would probably see worshiping statues in other places as crazy and foolish and weird. But America has idols as well. They just don't have fancy temples, paintings, and incense burnt.

Instead, it's face paint, big screen t.v.'s, and huge stadiums.

American idols are sometimes on paper such as lottery tickets. The more money spent and possessions sacrificed, the more potential blessings and success..right? America's idols are on the billboards and news feeds. They're in the magazines and morning paper. The same God that told people in the old testament to stop bowing down to idols is the same God you pray to in the churches today. His commandment still holds true. He deserves far more than simply what makes us happy, succeed, and look good.....what makes us comfortable...

That is something I find heartbreaking. The fact that comfort has crippled the place I live in.
Despite the fact that the gospel is at the tips of our fingers, we can freely worship God as we please, there are enough bibles for everyone to own at least 2, and we have far more than anything we could ever possibly need.

I want to make Jesus known among the Nations. Though I long to be in other parts of the world at this time I know it's for me to shine a light here and now. As a 19 year old single college student who for some reason God has chosen to use in Monroe, LA. So though my heart craves for what's to come,  it is also comforted in knowing there's work to still be done in my own community. May God be glorified and recieve what He deserves. To the ends of the earth may His name be shouted on the mountain tops.

I am SECOND.

Spiritual Warfare

I never quite understood what spiritual warfare was and looked like until I went to serve in SOuthEast Asia this year. In training I heard I would soon encounter it. That you could immediately feel the tension in the air and it would be so thick you could cut it with a knife...That as soon I would get out of the plane I would know there was a war going on. A war between what is Righteous and what is wicked. A war between pureness and unclean lips. A war between the spirit and the flesh. A war between what I believe in so dearly and what the world believes. I know God is real. I'd be foolish to deny the power, provision, strength, protection, wisdom, and sovereignty of God after I've seen countless ways of how He works. I now know that satan is very real also. He's drinking lots of coffee, staying awake to ace his tests. He studies your every move and plans every way possible to try and stop God from working through you. He's not worried about those who have not accepted Christ...they're already wrapped around his fingers. Those who believe in Jesus and radically follow Him are his target. As if he suddenly forgets that he has are been defeated and the true battle was already won on the cross...

So after being informed that I would encounter spiritual warfare in the near future I began to pray more intentionally for strength to fight against it. Throughout this past month my team and I have seen God do some pretty insanely awesome things. Both in us and through us as well as other believers. We have also seen Satan at work. We've seen him stirring up our wants, tricking us into thinking that a lot of our wants were needs. He tried to cause simple frustrations to erupt into volcanoes. He was trying everything possible to have doubt, fear, and selfishness creep into our hearts. Satan knows your weakness and knows how to make you at your most vulnerable state of mind. He knows how to make you insecure and timid. That's why it is so important to renew the mind daily especially when traveling to foreign lands out of typical comfort zones.

"For God has not given us the spirit of Timidity, but of power Love,and self-discipline. So Never be afraid to tell others about the Lord." -2 Timothy 1:7

What a blessing it is that The Most High God, Shang Di, is Above All and created all.

"We are indestructable until God says so."

How many times are you doing work in the harvest and when it starts to rain, you go back inside where it's dry...? How many times do you run in the fire then peace out when it begins to get  really hot...? How many times do you go and go and go but one negative opinion causes you to completely shut down...? How many times is it dark outside and you don't even realize you have a flashlight in your backpack...? How many times do you see God working but as soon as you are uncomfortable you want to go home...?

I'm not saying these things out of condemnation, but out of love. Most of the time that's the way Satan works. Things go good, heck things go great! Then all of a sudden tension builds, the waters rise, and Satan starts the battle within a fortress of the mind that he loves to dwell in.

During the greatest of opportunities to share Christ with others...Satan is running a marathon. What a blessing it is to have discernment, to know and realize when Satan is at work. Praise God for the understanding that it's not simply ironic when you feel like quitting and giving up. Satan wants culture shock to get the best of you. It's one of the greatest mind games ever. It says in the word that even your heart can be deceitful. This means we must place our trust, hope, and complete faith in Christ because on our own we are weak.

Spiritual Warfare is real. It's everywhere and it's a constant battle. It's important to seek God's guidance in fighting against fleshly desires. REST is essential and the armor has to be put on daily as well as time spent in the war room/secret place.

Don't buy into the lies. Don't allow yourself to stop serving the Lord. Don't back out when you feel led and called to Go. Never turn down an opportunity to share the gospel with others.

Adventure Awaits

So after taking seven finals last week and having seven days until leaving I've been thinking a lot about school, careers, my future, past, relationships, money, and what it means to follow Christ sincerely. To follow Christ sincerely is to put Him first above all else. I must put Him above school, re-taking classes, student loans, homework, practicing, socializing, working, money...Above everything that gets in the way. It wasn't until I gave God everything that He became my everything.

Jesus lived a life of sacrifice. Therefore, the life of a Christian can't go without a sacrifice of some sort. In order to ensure you make a good grade on a test at times you must sacrifice something, right?Sleep, social interaction, your favorite t.v.show... Why do we sometimes act like Jesus doesn't call us to make a sacrifice? Instead we act as if we've been called to the exact opposite. We act as if we've been called to comfort, apathy, and selfishness. But the more I read the word the more I see scripture after scripture of how Jesus was beat, bloodied up, mocked, abused, denied, tempted, ridiculed, and crucified. I can't help but think of 1 Peter 4:12. Satan will tempt you, attack you, and he's constantly out to destroy you. But God is not Satan and He loves you like crazy. So why not Go and serve Him by serving others? Why not sacrifice a summer, winter, semester, year, money, shifts at work, people's opinions of you, and holidays? It's because of God that blessings exist in the first place. "Praise God to Who ALL Blessings flow." Every good and perfect gift comes from God. I deserve Hell and nothing more. But He has offered mercy and amazing grace! I'm leaving out of the country again in two days and I literally cannot contain my excitement!

THANK YOU to all who've given so generously and willingly. I praise Jesus for each of you whether acquaintance, dear friend, or complete stranger. Thank you for your prayers, support, encouragement and affirmation. I pray God will bless you mightily and know that He is already using you by sending me to share the love of Christ to others around the world who'd most likely never hear of Christ otherwise. Unless someone goes out to their community, city, town, village, hut...cardboard box...how will they hear? I am completely blown away by the provision of God especially financially. God is a God of provision and protection, forever and always. I'm so ready for the adventure the Lord and I are about to embark on! To the ends of the Earth!

"God bring me closer to You on this trip whatever it takes!"

Sleepless in Monroe

Once again I find myself unable to sleep.
Such a strong burden for this lost and dying world...
There are so many things I just don't understand.
Why? Why? Why?

Why do people have no shoes?

Why do we have a more than enough shoes?

Why are kids sleeping on the streets?

Why are kids abandoned?

Why are women degraded?

Why is money such an idol?

Why are people starving?

Why are people dieng from curable diseases?

Why am I the one blessed to live in America?

Why is there no persecution in the United States?

Why do people stay silent on what needs to be voiced?

Why is talk of freedom so hush-hush?

Why have people never heard of Christ?

Why are fellowships more popular than sharing the freakin gospel?

Why is offense glorified more than the lamb who was silent to the slaughter?

Why are the words out of mouths destroying relationships instead of encouraging others?
                                                                                                                   -Ephesians 4:29

I often find myself asking so many questions that seem to remain unanswered. "If only I could find solutions for these issues, maybe this unsettledness would go away..." The truth is, I don't have to have all the answers. I could sit around all day and think of logical ways to make a difference. But that's the thing, God doesn't fit in a box of logic. He is Holy and just. The  enemy likes to make you feel insignificant to the Kingdom. He can use rocks to praise Him, how much more could He use His beloved workmanships? He is Bigger and He will be glorified.

I care for those who are hurting far more than comfort. I'm starting to hurt with them instead of simply for them. My brain wants to explode when I think of the beautiful people I have encountered and shared life with and those I will soon encounter that are suffering so much while I have everything I could ever possibly need. I long to see the world radically changed for His Kingdom. I want to show hope, love, joy, peace, and true faith to others. Not because I'm a big deal but because Jesus is the Big Deal. I want to make His praise glorious to the ends of the earth and see the healing power that's in the name of Jesus break every chain. I dream of people of all nations crying out "Abba, Father." -experiencing His Love and never being the same again.

So as I sit here all worked up, burdened, frustrated, heartbroken, and full of passion...I become more confident in the mission at hand. Where the enemy wants the consumption of feeling overwhelmed to try and reach the masses, Jesus reminds us that He's for the one. Where we feel defeated, the finished work of the cross testifies to the battle that's already been won. I'm still going to praise Him and declare His promises in the midst of burdens, casting it all to the One who carries them.  

"Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." -Psalm 55:22

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28

 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." -Romans 8:26-27