Saturday, December 31, 2011

Shake It Out



I've been listening to one of my favorite artists Florence + The Machine lately and have fallen in love with the song "Shake it Out" off of the Ceremonials album.

Here's some of the lyrics:

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way
I can see no way And all of the ghouls come out to play 
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself 
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind 
I can see no way,I can see no way 
I'm always dragging that horse around
And our love is passed, it's such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground 
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn 

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out 
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out 

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back 
So shake him off 

I am done with my graceless heart 
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart 
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn 

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out 
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out 
 And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back 
So shake him off 

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
 And given half the chance would I take any of it back
 It's a final mess but it's left me so undone
 It's always darkest before the dawn



I feel like this song is my anthem for the year of 2011. This year has been both Beautiful and Ugly. It has been a year of many adventures and many life lessons. During January of 2011 I was in South East Asia eating noodles everyday, speaking in a different foreign language, sharing the gospel, serving alongside some of the strongest men and women of God I've ever met, playing drums with street kids, falling in love with street kids, flying on a lot of planes, riding a lot of buses, and drinking a lot of hot tea. I also led worship and small groups for youth disciple nows and girls retreats almost every weekend during spring semester. I was playing drums in the ULM BCM Haven band which I loved oh so much. Ministry in my church Hope Alive thrived, grew, and increased my passion for both God and people. In April I decided to pursue one of my dreams and drove 24 hours to New York where I would wait in line several hours along with 600 others, be signed for a time slot, and audition for STOMP on Broadway. This was a dream come true itself. Though I didn't make it I still choose to Dream Big and live up to the saying "Go Hard or Go Home." This summer I was a leader for Cross Camp again and saw how God allowed me to go through such trials when growing up in order to minister to youth of all ages here and now. I got to spend time in Nashville, TN with my best friend Alyssa and began to fall in love with Music City and this pretty amazing music school named Belmont University. I was fortunate to be a bridesmaid in my friend MaeLee's wedding in Alabama on December 17,2011 exactly a year after spending some memorable days in serving in Asia together. I have learned to push myself even harder as a musician and student this year. I don't think I've ever practiced so long and hard until this past semester and it's finally starting to show which is incredibly
awesome. I began to become burnt out on ministry. I found myself doing so many different things constantly to which I never felt I was all there. I was so half way committed to everything that I think I was missing the real reason of why I was doing certain events in the first place. When I think of the year of 2011 I think of it being a Burn Out. A burn out on ministry. A burn out on school. A burn out on working. A burn out on socialization. A burn out on music. A burn out on everything pretty much. All my life I've seemed to always be on the go. I love it yet at the same time grow weary. For a while I've found myself neglecting God over all else. I'm still involved with the things of God and love God. But, somewhere along the way I lost sight of writing the word upon my heart and seeking God daily. I long for consistency and focus. I desire to grown more in my faith. I allowed myself to get caught in some sort of spiritual inertia and apathy which isn't cool. It's funny how sin can have such an effect on you. It doesn't matter if it was several years, months, weeks, days, or even minutes ago...Satan still uses your mistakes to taunt you and make you feel trashy and worthless.

"Regrets collect like old friends, here to relive your darkest moments.
All of the ghouls come out to play,every demon wants his pound of flesh.It's always darkest before the dawn."

This year I let the things I was once ashamed of consume me and beat me down. I let the devil convince me that I could not overcome. At the same time Jesus reminded me that I can do all things not on my own but with Him as my strength.

"And I've been a fool and I've been blind. I can never leave the past behind. I'm always dragging that horse around. Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground."

I love God. I love people. I love music. I love life. I love this New Year. A new year of more adventure and more excitement. A year of less constant activity and less burn out. A year of new beginnings and growth in faith. A year of ministering more to others and showing the love of Christ everywhere I Go. A new year to embrace and enjoy...to take what life gives me whether good or bad. A new year to cherish dreams that come true and to learn from the beautiful letdowns. 


Goodbye 2011 and hello 2012.









1 comment:

  1. Here's to new beginnings. Love you.

    ReplyDelete